How do I describe my life now? Falling back to normal without you, or is it a new start without you?

This time round I know I'm different. I learnt, maybe. I learn that there are certain things, no matter how hard we try, it just doesn't work. Usually I choose to try, do whatever I want, first not to lie to myself and second, at least I'm not just waiting for something to fall from the sky. I choose to stand here and do nothing, not because I don't want it as much, but because it's so important that I know I can never to afford to lose it. I lost many, and I don't want to make him one of my collections.

God, I refused to let you decide my destiny, I fought. I did whatever I could, now I'm all tired. I know the determination in me is still flowing, it's just that I know this is all I can do. I hate to say, I got to leave it to fate. Right till the end of 2011, I still remember my mind saying, "Let time decides, if we're meant to be, let us meet again, and it's hopefully finally at the right time".

I might change, you might change, we might change, feelings might change. But I selfishly hope you would remember me as someone who had true fully want you, need you and love you.