Monday, January 17, 2011 @ 10:59 PM
It's so torturing, you know?Mummy, why don't I know how to let go? Why am I not born to be more heartless, or in a nicer way, stronger?I love the way we started, because that period of time was the best period in my life. I remember myself smiling in the bus, smiling to myself just by thinking what you said, what you posted on my facebook wall. We wasn't close, but yet I felt so attatched to you. Those nights I spend talking to you online wasn't part of my life, it was all because I want to, really want to. Remember how you persist about what you want. I lost you, day by day. You told me, I can find you back, but now can you tell me, can I still ever find you back? Where is the guy who kept looking out for me in the crowd, where's the guy who care for me so much? Spend night brain storming party games for me. Tell me. Every single memory, seems more and more far to me, but, do you know how real it feel? The first guy I know I'm all the while finding. The first guy I stepped out trying. Must I give up like that? Do you remember when you promised me fetching me there? I don't love you for the rides you can offer me, I don't want all those. All I want was, your sincerity to spend your time with me. Do you remember how you gave me your number? I won't forget. I will never. Never. But why did you ended up come telling me, "Why tell me you're moving on when I did not even hold you back?". Was that what you feel from the start? Am I just a game?