Thursday, September 02, 2010 @ 9:42 PM
I know it's not worth it.
I waited for weeks, counting down everyday. What happened was even worst than what I expected. It wasn't people around that cause this horrible feeling but you.
You know, I really tried, I tried acting normal. I tried to cherish whatever time I'm spending with you. I really tried to feel happy when I know I should be happy enough that you're around but, I can't. You can be right beside me but, I can't feel you there. At one point of time I really thought I was talking to the wall. At one point of time I really want to slap you and walk off but I can't because I know how difficult is it to get all these. I know how much I want to just, stand beside you. I'm know all these are annoying, pointless or even idiot. But, I can't help. You know what hurt me most? Is when I realised the only time you finally seems so lively talking to me is when you ask me to help you something. That really killed me. You know? YOU KILLED ME!
My pain, is so deep inside that I can't even shed a tear. Just by thinking, my heart sank right to my stomach. Why? Why am I suffering all these? Am I really that...? Are you sure, I just worth that reaction you gave me? Am I just that shameless to you? You know how sad, no, not sad, how demoralise I am now?