Never remind me about this post.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008 @ 1:02 PM
Remember that night. When I was so depressed and despersate, I got to admit. I clicked this contact and started a conversation. I still remember, at that point of time I knew if this coversation goes well what will happen next. I just know myself too well but I kept lying to myself it will never. I just can't control myself, I know. Despite same thing happen again and agian, I never learn my lesson. I'm afraid of embarrassment but often when I meet things like that, I'm willing to let myself embarrass for once, just to get a reply. Without realising, I did it for many times. You're sick so am I. Seriously, everytime, before I text, you never know how long I think, how long I put up my courage. When I'm waiting for your reply, trust me, my heart almost stop beating. I'm so afraid I could not get any reply from you. My fear, my experience is what you cannot imagine. What I care is not whether the way you feel for me is the way I feel for you, its how you treat me. I don't need any sweet talks, any conversation that make my hair stand. What I want is a conversation that can make me feel I'm not unwanted. Get it? At first, I thought I found a soulmate. Although I've already guess what will happen next if I continue talking like that but I continued. Its all because I thought I can trust you that it won't happen. But what happens now? You know, I know.