Tuesday, August 05, 2008 @ 5:58 PM
Remember how happy am I when you gave me a glance. One glance from you made my day, a fruitful one. Until now, I could still remember how happy am I at that point of time. I could still remember how I felt. I thought at least you care and its enough. For that past 2 years. You're the one, always the one who made my day. Not by talking to me. Not by doing anything but just letting me to see you. Thats so enough. I felt blessed and lucky for that. Really and seriously. That sounds really dumb but thats what made me like you for so long, so long. Even when you're not there. I struggled, I hold on like holding something so precious and it is. I never wants to let it go. Why? Because feelings for you are not simple. Not at all. But, recently, I found out some hurting facts. I realise something. Things that are often felt so happy about it was not as beautiful as I thought. I realised the glance you gave. Does not happen because you care. Does not happen because you want to. But its natural. Everybody does that. Its all because you felt sorry towards me, its because you pity me, right? So thats the fact. Why did I understand all this so late? I finally know, I'm wrong. Its a wrong decision to tell you my feelings. If I didn't, you would not feel stress. You would not feel sorry towards me. I thought its a right decision to tell you before that. Because at least, I felt relieved. But I didn't spare a thought for you. I'm selfish, I didn't thought of what you would feel. I thought just not talking to you mean you won't feel stress and don't like me or something but I'm wrong. Now I thinking. Whatever I did after I told you my feelings , you felt irritated and you simply don't need it. Right? I'm feeling so dumb now. Whats the thing that I felt so happy about. I'm just thinking too much. I'm sorry.